


It all began with a bet

by Lack_of_Common_Sense



Category: Gintama
Genre: Embarrassment, Funny, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, creep-o-factor 2/10, it's what makes you you after all, never be too sorry for what you do, this was a dumb idea and I'm not sorry tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:16:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lack_of_Common_Sense/pseuds/Lack_of_Common_Sense
Summary: A quickie with Gintoki and Hijikata at the cinema. Hijikata gets... dragged into a quickie with Gintoki, to be more precise. That's all this is. Somebody's head between somebody's legs. You get it. We get it. Everybody gets it. Except Hijikata. He doesn't get it.Second part is another quickie, and poor Jimmy-kun gets an eyeful.





	1. Movies

**Author's Note:**

> It's a drabble. I might finish it. I might not. Mnyeh. I was gonna say I got bored halfway through writing this, but the truth is my head is full of other stuff.  
> Like my other fanfics that are getting moldy because someone (I mean myself) left them outside in the rain, neglected.  
> Or school, 'cause it's about to begin and I should revise. Lots of revising.  
> SO.  
> If I have the time, if I have the idea still in my head, and if I don't forget that this exists... it might continue. I guess.

First of all, let it be clear that everything is entirely Sougo’s fault. I did not ask for any of this, I did not want to be a part of this, it was a dumb idea and everyone who went along with Sougo regarding this is a fucking idiot.

Myself included.

The big screen blinked white and I burrowed deeper into my seat. I was never a fan of ghost movies. Not that I am a scaredy-cat, but I just never liked things that I can’t kill with my sword.

But if I were to walk out, I would be the laughing stock of the century for damn sure. I was in the very back of the room and I wished to be _anywhere_ but at the cinema. And to make matters worse, there was a familiar face right next to me. You’d think Gintoki would have better things to do – oh, who am I kidding, of course he would be here.

He noticed me looking at him and raised his hand with a box of popcorn. “Want some?”

“The movie hasn’t even started yet and I bet you took the sweet one, so no,” I hissed, looking away.

“Why so salty?” he said, and I, not sure if it was a pun, just ignored him.

Music let us know we should pay attention to the front, and I was almost thankful that I didn’t have to talk to him anymore.

The opening sequence was dull and the narrator sounded like his throat ached. I was too worried about the actual movie to mind, though – everyone who’d already seen it told me it was super scary, and the longer I was there, the more I wished to never have agreed to Sougo’s bet.

The main character was surprisingly stupid and surprisingly lucky ever since the beginning. Shame I couldn’t say the same for myself – the luck part, not the stupid part. I clearly _was_ really dumb, since I got talked into this.

A single droplet of cold sweat formed on my forehead and slowly made its way down, abiding by the call of gravity. With a shriek, a ghost of someone who’d drowned in a swamp jumped right towards the spectators. A semi-transparent figure, yet with their flesh quite apparently rotten, fingernails peeling off and upper lip torn.

The monster circled the main character, then stopped right in front of him, reaching their pale hands out to grab the poor guy’s throat. There was a cut to let us see the wet ground slowly freeze underneath the ghost’s feet.

Closing my eyes, I tried to become one with my surroundings. That is, until I felt a light touch on my no-no spot. I nearly jumped out of my skin, making a noise a grown man should _never_ make. A few aggressive hisses from below made me shut up before I actually could start making a ruckus.

Why?

Because Gintoki’s hand was now resting between my legs. It didn’t seem intentional, he looked absorbed into the movie enough to not hear me moments ago. I clenched my teeth – how do you tell somebody that their hand is… somewhere not appropriate? Dammit.

I waited for a few seconds each of which seemed like eternity, but he didn’t move it away. Then, a full minute. Nothing. He stayed in the same position, and he… was he asleep? Don’t tell me that piece of garbage fell asleep while watching a horror movie _with his hand in my groin_?!

“Uh… Gintoki?” I leaned a little closer, whispering. “That… That’s my dick you’re touching.”

He opened his eyes and gave me a sideways glance. “I know,” he said, his face completely expressionless.

“Y—” I nearly raised my voice. Thankfully, I managed to not embarrass myself in public, and instead, I hissed: “Why are you—”

He cut me off, giving my dick a prompt squeeze. I shuddered and tried to make him let go, but he leaned closer and whispered with his lips touching my ear: “I just thought I would give you something pleasant to focus on. Don’t think too much about it, okay?”

“The hell do you mean?!” I struggled against him when he slid off his seat and kneeled in front of me. Unfortunately, the space there was so narrow I was pretty much stuck unless he moved away first.

“I can see you’re having trouble with handling the movie,” Gintoki’s voice was indifferent, and it would really help if his hand weren’t unbuckling my belt. I raised my hand to beat the shit out of him… but I stopped. The look in his eyes was unsettling. Even more so in the scarcely lit room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I muttered, reluctantly resting my hand down again.

“Many things. Too many to list,” he chuckled silently, finding his way into my underpants as he spoke.

“You’re… gay, or something?” There was no way I’d give in, but I hoped to stall for time long enough for him to drop it. Were we anywhere else, I wouldn’t hesitate to give him a good beating, but we were in public, and to be seen doing something so shameful, what would that look like in the headlines tomorrow? I could never do anything to cast a shadow over the Shinsengumi.

“Well, I don’t mind a dick,” he pulled mine out and grinned at it. “Physically speaking, not personality-wise.”

“… How about you fuck off.” I covered my crotch with one hand and grabbing a fistful of his curly hair with the other, I yanked his head up to make him look at me again, and I leaned so close our noses almost touched. “What do you think you’re doing, bastard?!”

“Aww, come on, don’t be shy,” his tongue darted out and ran over my lips. I jerked away, wiping my mouth furiously. “The f—!”

“ _Shut up back there! We’re trying to watch the film!”_

“Sorry, sorry,” Gintoki called back to the lower rows. Then, he turned to me again. “Keep it down, Oogushi-kun. Don’t you know where we are?”

“ _You_ are the problem, you jackass,” I hissed, lowering my voice again.

“Well then, arrest me, Oogushi-kun,” he responded, “’cause what I’m doing now is sexual harassment.” I clenched my fists and closed my eyes when I saw him open his mouth. Soon after, wet heat surrounded me down there and I could feel one of his hands gripping my upper thigh firmly. I bit my lip. It was unbelievably frustrating, even more so since he seemed to know what he was doing. His other hand was making up for what his mouth couldn’t do. I could feel wetness dripping down my skin.

I pressed myself into the seat. Hard. The noises of the movie were no longer any concern of mine, and when I realised that he actually had proven his point by doing such a thing to me, I made the decision to strangle him as soon as I got the chance.

His breathing got heavier when he sped up, and a single curse rolled down my lips. I was getting dizzy from holding my breath to make sure I’d stay completely silent, and my entire body was rigid and tense.

I doubted I’d _ever_ come so fast.

“Bas—” I started, but my words got stuck in my throat when I saw him _swallow_.

He moved back to his seat and made himself comfortable, and he even had the gall to lick his fingers. “Your hair is surprisingly thin,” he whispered, not looking at me. “It’s kinda cute. Your cum, on the other hand… Really thick. Haven’t gotten much lately, huh?”

I socked him square in the face. My punch didn’t pack much power because I mostly felt like I was made of jelly, but it did catch him off guard.

He glared at me.

Then he got up, and grabbing me by the collar, he hauled me to the toilet. Needless to say, I more than happily went along – I was ready to kick him in the balls the moment we had a little fucking privacy.

The door closed behind us. I blinked in the light, then turned to face him – only to get backed against the wall. “The hell’s your problem?” He sounded… confused. For some bloody reason.

“The fuck is yours?” I replied, grabbing him by the collar as well. “Who the fuck sucks off another guy during a horror movie?! Are you a fucking idiot?”

“What the – appreciate it a little instead!” Gintoki looked at me with a genuinely hurt expression and I couldn’t believe my own ears. “You were in trouble, I helped! That’s all there is to it!”

“… You’re kidding me.”

“Am not,” he shrugged and let go. My hand itched to hit him with all my might, but… I didn’t do it.

He stepped away and sighed. “Why do you always have to overcomplicate things, you guys? Souichiro-kun, Oogushi-kun, you both are so…”

“What’s Sougo got to do with this?” I said, ignoring his stupid nicknames he had for each and every single one of us.

“Well I spoke to him earlier today, and he told me how you two bet—”

“He told you I’d be here?” I interrupted him, clenching my fists.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not what I—”

_Punch._

“Ow!” He covered his nose with both hands. “What the hell?!”

“Fuck the two of you and your stupid games,” I breathed out, shaking with anger. Had I known that Sougo made and agreement with this piece of shit to humiliate me, I would have never agreed to this idiocy.

I left the room, slamming the door. No fucking way was I gonna stay in there with him.

I changed my seat, and even though he tried to search for me, I made sure he wouldn’t see me.

I sat through the rest of the movie in silence.

Fuck 'em.

Seriously.


	2. Tryst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh. It's... something.

I opened the door to my room.

And I closed it again immediately, not having stepped inside.

 _Why?!_ I thought, my hand falling to my side. It was way, way past midnight, he should not have been anywhere nearby. It had been a long day and I was just hoping to faint onto my futon and sail the seas of sweet oblivion until morning.

“Oi! Rude!” Gintoki called from inside there and I heard him jump to his feet swiftly before yanking the door open again. “What was that about?”

“Why the fuck are you here?” I growled and stormed past him. His dumb mug was the last thing I wanted to see, now and ever. He slid the door shut and turned to me, and the longer I watched him, the more pissed I was. He scratched in his hair sheepishly and gave me a sideways glance.

“What did I do?” he said, and that made me want to strangle him right then and there.

“You know full fucking well what you did!” My fists opened and closed at that memory; at the same time, my face went beet red, both due to my anger and to my embarrassment. “You—you plotted against me with that twerp Sougo, you did _that_ to me and now both you and he are laughing at me behind my back. What _more_ could you possibly want? I’m sure that—”

“Yeah, about that,” he stepped closer, interrupting me, his sheepishness suddenly gone, “Okita-kun has no idea I’d decided to tag along. And I haven’t told anyone else either, just so you know. Not even I would run about yelling ‘Hey, I sucked off a dude’ at the top of my lungs.” There was the smell of booze on his breath.

Well, that would explain why Sougo was so bitter about losing that bet. If Gintoki’s… _help_ were a part of Sougo’s plan, he’d be smirking at me daily.

“Why’d you come here, then, if not laugh at me?” I questioned, because that part still made no sense.

“I wanted to explain myself to you,” he sat down on the ground heavily and gestured I do the same. I hesitantly made myself comfortable at what I deemed a safe distance from him.

“Now?” I said. “It’s been weeks since then.”

“Yep. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so here I am.” He ruffled his hair again. “I want you to know I had the purest of intentions.”

I deadpanned. “… you sucked my dick.”

“Yeah, and I did it with no hidden agenda in mind.”

“How is that supposed to excuse your actions?” I snapped, shaking my head in disbelief.

“Don’t act like you weren’t into it,” Gintoki puffed his cheeks shortly, then continued before I could find a retort, “you did cum pretty hard.”

“Ye-“ My voice cracked and I cleared my throat, turning red again, “Yes, and you _swallowed_ it! What’s up with that?!”

“Simple,” suddenly, he jumped towards me from where he was sitting and tackled me to the ground. “I want you,” he said, looming over me.

Only gods know why, but even though I had every opportunity to kick him in the nuts, I didn’t. There was something in his expression, he just seemed so… earnest, that I didn’t even struggle. It caught me off-guard – he was never like this.

“How drunk are you?” I said, staring up at him. I was tired, but that alone would not be a reason enough to let him do whatever, of course.

“A bit,” Gintoki looked away. “Doesn’t change a thing, though.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Are you asking me to show you or something?” he narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want to fight with you over it. And after last time I’ve decided not to do anything without your permission.”

“Like I said, what do you mean?” I repeated. “What is it you want with me?”

He inhaled shakily as one of his hands cupped my cheek, and for some reason, I did not slap it away. I could feel it tremble briefly before he spoke. “I want to hold you. To have you moan in pleasure. To make you gasp my name, and to make you cum so hard you forget your own. That about sums it up.”

I found myself short of breath. I definitely should have been creeped out, if not repulsed, by what he just said. It was just a drunk’s babble, but at the same time…

It wasn’t.

And I didn’t mind.

Not in the slightest. I did mind the fact that I didn’t mind, though.

“Or,” he said after a moment’s pause, “I’m okay with going about it the other way around, too, since I can make you feel just as good going down on you.” At this point, the both of us were red to our ears. He seemed to have misinterpreted my silence, though, because he slowly backed away. “I’ll just… go, alright? And we’ll pretend it never happened.”

“Wait.” I sat up.

He shot me a questioning look. It was my turn to jump and tackle him down before he could get up completely. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I must’ve really upset you, huh,” he sighed, disheartened, and closed his eyes, clearly bracing himself for a punch.

Well, he wasn’t wrong, but above all else, he stirred something up in me. Instead of clocking him like I probably should have, I touched his lips with mine. Hesitantly, like a cherry boy. He peered at me between his eyelashes, then I felt his fingers clumsily, but gently comb through my hair at the back of my head.

“I’m so tired I might not be able to sleep,” I muttered, “or do anything else at all, but… I want to at least try.”

“You were being _so_ misleading.” Gintoki pulled me into a deeper kiss, now slipping me the tongue without reserve. He tasted of beer – beer and… takoyaki?

“I don’t know how to react to such a confession,” I said quietly, observing his face.

His breath hitched and he looked away. “That wasn’t a—” he cut himself off, then admitted, “Okay. It was. You got me. But you could’ve at least said something.”

“Were you expecting me to act all cutesy? Cause that ain’t happening.” I was into this – much more than I had expected to be.

“Figures, with a scowly guy like you,” he scoffed, then he grabbed my butt. “So, which one is it?” he said, and I shuddered when he dug his fingers between my ass cheeks. Again, not something that should have been pleasant. And yet, I found it quite thrilling.

“I have zero experience being with a guy,” I let out between my clenched teeth, “so… it’s okay if you do whatever.”

“Great.” Gintoki clutched my hair and brought me down for another kiss, and while doing so, he rolled us over. Carefully, his trembling hands began undressing me – just unbuttoning my jacket and shirt to reveal my chest. He took off my cravat and proceeded to tug my trousers and boxers low enough for him to have access.

“I’ve seen it before,” he said thoughtfully, “and I can’t stop thinking that I actually might want you to stick it in me one day. If you agreed to it.” His fingers wrapped around my cock and he opened his mouth again. I closed my eyes, already knowing what he was about to do.

* * *

“It’s morning, fuku—”

I opened my eyes and my gaze met with Yamazaki’s. He stood there at the entrance, his face that of pure horror. Slowly, he slid the door closed again, muttering an awkward apology.

Mildly confused, I sat up groggily.

In that moment, the memory of what happened last night hit me with the force of a thrown hammer. Gintoki was snoring in my lap, and I was still butt-naked. I must’ve fallen asleep – or rather, fainted in exhaustion – after I came, yet again, into Gintoki’s mouth… and he just made himself comfortable where he was, and followed my example, drunk off his ass as he was.

I felt like all of my blood drained in that moment. I jumped to my feet, consequently throwing Gintoki off onto the tatami, and I pulled my underwear and trousers up in a haste. I opened the door again quickly; Yamazaki was still standing there, clearly frozen in place by what he had just witnessed. When he saw me, he squinted, then swiftly turned on his heel and was about to make his leave, but my hand fell heavy on his shoulder.

“Not a word,” I hissed, “to anyone.”

“O-Of course,” he nodded.

“If anyone hears about it, it’s seppuku for you,” I growled for good measure and let him go, but I wasn’t really feeling it.

When I entered my room again, Gintoki was awake, sitting with back hunched, rubbing his face. “Oh, morning,” he glanced at me when he heard me close the door.

“… Morning.” I wasn’t sure what to say. Yesterday, we went and crossed the line, and judging by the way he was avoiding my eyes, he remembered at least some of it. Worse, we got caught. I would understand if he wanted to back out after this, but I realised I would find it regrettable.

“What…” his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat before continuing, “how much did I say?”

“You confessed,” I sat down heavily.

“What was your response?”

“I haven’t given you one,” I admitted, and I could feel my face heat up. He gave me another sideways glance. “Not a proper one, anyway.”

“If you’re going to reject me, do it now,” Gintoki muttered. He seemed to be having a headache. I wondered how much he drank before he actually decided that coming to me was a good idea. Clearly, though, he wasn’t going to back out of this. That was something I appreciated.

“I didn’t reject you yesterday,” I said, “and I was sober, unlike _some_ bastard I know. Take it or leave it.”

He finally looked straight at me. The corner of his mouth twitched, then he chuckled. “I forgot.”

“Forgot what?”

“That you’re a tsundere.” He got up and caught his balance; he seemed a little out of it, but I’d seen him in worse states than that.

“What—” I started, but he stumbled past me towards the exit. On the way, he slapped my ass.

“See you later,” he threw over his shoulder and made his leave.

I huffed and slid onto the floor. Although I had just woken up, I felt exhausted.

Assuming Yamazaki was going to keep his mouth shut, though, the near future didn’t seem so bad.


End file.
